“You have that good hair… My hair is too nappy to wear it natural”
“Your hair is sooooo nice! I wouldn’t know how to get mine like that”
This was me, the self-deprecating excuse maker and closet natural hair lover. Until 3 years ago, I had a break through. After a bad breakup I was forced to re-evaluate my body image, sense of self-worth and my overall place in the world. I suffered from severe depression. I felt lost and confused. I knew that I needed a cleansing of the spirit. I began to tinker with the idea of cutting my hair because I remembered the sense of freedom I had from previous haircuts.
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I was perfectly fine with having no hair at all. That was less scary to me than seeing my own unprocessed hair every day. Over the years I shaved it many times and grew it out by wearing weaves, braids and relaxers.
This idea, propelled a hunger for any and all information about black hair. I would spend hours on youtube consuming information about black women’s hair and the impact of slavery on our body/hair image. I was disgusted by the societal flaws that made us feel inferior about who we naturally are; down to the very hairs on our heads.
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Frustrated, I cut my shoulder length relaxed hair that day to the VERY scalp. I felt free and proud of myself for taking a stand….
That was well and good until reality hit 4 months later when it started growing. The depression came again and I felt self-hate rearing its ugly head. I would call my new boyfriend and cry because I felt so unattractive. However, I was determined to follow through on this. I turned a blind eye to the snarky comments of other women, the fact that I got no attention from men and I found styles that worked for my hair.
3 yrs later I am a proud naturalista who embraces every curl, nap and kink in this shoulder length afro. I earned every single one.
Trevine Drummond resides in New York with her son. She is a natural fashionista who embraces the true beauty in her Afro. She enjoys writing about her natural hair journey, while teaching other women her tips and secrets to maintaining healthy, beautiful natural hair.
I recently turned 37 years old. I am a first generation born, Haitian American woman. I have been faced with many challenges in my life, I was a mother at the age of 19, practiced poor money management, and been in relationships that didn’t quite go as planned. My life has been very interesting to say the least. I’m sure any single mom can relate, it’s not easy juggling parenting and everything that comes along with being a woman, especially dating.
After many years of trying to make it work, my son’s father and I finally decided it was best that we go our separate ways. He and I experienced a lot as teenage parents and we were so young, I’m not sure either of us really understood just what it took to hold a family together. As we got older there were other factors that played a role in our decision to not remain together. He was willing to carry the home, however the responsibility of carrying the relationship was null and void.
After a few more failed attempts at finding true love, I needed to take time out to work on me. I took a good look at my life and discovered that I had brought some self-esteem issues from my childhood into my adult life. Part of my personal growth, was facing those issues, so that I would be able to move on, and establish healthy relationships from here on out. It’s a process, and I know that I have a lengthy road ahead. But, the more I pray, read my bible, and the more motivated I become, I will find true happiness within me.
So if anyone were to ask me where I was at in my life, I would have to say that I’m at a good place. I may not be married like some of my friends. However I did recently purchase my own home and I’m currently working on having the best lawn on the block! I’m also back in school working on completing my Bachelor’s degree in Human Services. My educational goal is to obtain my Master’s Degree in Social work. I am also the Co Founder for a non -for profit organization along with a childhood friend, called Young Mothers Making A Difference. We assist young mothers with an opportunity to make positive changes in their lives. Oh yeah, and I’m also an independent distributor for It Works Global, a full health and wellness company.
Even though I’m not exactly where I want to be, I’m still moving forward and I’m not afraid to try new things. My son who is my biggest motivation, just turned 18, and we are currently preparing for his graduation. So, I am definitely a proud mom! And overall I’m just doing me. Conquering the world one day at a time, while patiently waiting for true love to find its way to me.
Judith currently resides in Medford NY. She is a proud mother, and a woman who is not afraid to explore life. When she’s not busy studying for her next exam, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, and helping people change their lives.